When is it time to make a life change?

“Where do we go from here…. is it down to the lake I fear…*”

There comes a point in everyone’s life when they need to move on.

And if you – yes, you – are nodding your head in understanding, then you probably already know what it feels like to be stuck.

Stuck in a job, stuck in a relationship, stuck in traffic, stuck in an elevator.

No matter the circumstances, that feeling of frustration and the seeming inability move forward is one that messes with your head.

Unlike being caught in an elevator, or  sitting behind forty-‘leven cars at a standstill, the potential outcome of choosing to remain stuck in  a big ticket item like a career, a job or a relationship can be detrimental and potentially destructive to your health.  But choosing to step out is scary.

If you’ve read this far and are still sitting there nodding your head, well, you’ll know all this, too.

You’ll know it’s safe standing inside, despite the head crazies. It’s secure, being in one spot for a long time. It’s your spot. It’s shaped to fit your life, your style, your bum. It’s like being surrounded by glass walls, all warm and cozy inside but for the lack of fresh air.  You can see out, people can see in. They’ll see what you portray,  what you want them to see, what picture you choose to present to your audience. Only you, inside your chrysalis, can see both inwards and outwards.

And if you are really, truly honest with yourself – you’ll know that it’s not what you see on the outside that’s scary. It’s what you see – what you know – what’s on the inside that’s visible to you and you alone – that’s the scary part.

Do you dare to step out?

It can be frightening, sure.

It can be threatening. It can be downright terrifying.

And to make that first step out is beyond brave.  It’s almost heroic.

Having the bravery,  the tenacity, the  absolute faith in yourself to step out of that cocoon is huge, and to do it takes amazing, insurmountable courage.

It takes, if you’ll excuse the expression – it takes balls.

But do it, I say.

Just take that first step. You can leap, you can jump, you can tiptoe, hell – if you need it, you can ask a good friend to give you a bloody hard shove.

But whatever it takes, by whatever means you need, just do it.

Take the scariness and the uncertainty and the fear and the worry and the judgement and the insecurity and do it.

Just. Do. It.

The only thing standing between you and the outside, is you.

And how the hell do you know where your journey will take you if you never get off the bus?

*Thanks, Haircut100

17 thoughts on “When is it time to make a life change?

  1. I went to a workshop during the week, and touched on was “Theory U” – the way it was explained, it very much pertains to your post, I think. Time for the little prototypes – or get off the bus!!

  2. Such a well timed post, thank you.

    I am in discussions with someone over a new job that is totally out of my comfort zone.

    There are days where I think “No. It is just easier to stay where I am”. But I am not happy there.

    It scares the living hell out of me to take the leap into a new job after being at the other one for 5 years, you are right, it is comfortable, it fits, my bum fits their seat. But…I am not happy.

    50 years old this year I am. It may be the last real opportunity I have to make a move. I have to do it or hate myself for not making the move when I had the chance.

    Thank you. I will be back to read this again. I need to read it again. XX

  3. Another timely and very well written post, Shirley…. am about to make a phone call that could lead me to a crossroads where I need to make a decision. Great advice, thank you for sharing.

  4. This is beautifully written and so appropriate to every one of us. While so many issues are wonderful, there is always that little bit of comfort zone we could change for the bettter – if we but dare! Thank you for so eloquently explaining this confusion and that we can all feel a very similar way and have to ‘dare’ ourselves to change.

    1. Thank you, Merryn, that’s very kind of you to say and also lovely of you to comment so kindly on my words. I would love to know – have you been something similar yourself?

  5. I wrote a great comment and IT DIDN’T SAVE! Grrr.

    I agree totally – change is hard but, for me, far far better than being miserable stuck in the rut. It does take balls, and the grass isn’t always greener, but I’ve personally never regretted any of my big life changing decisions – even those that didn’t work out as I expected.

    Great post. xx

  6. Ay, ay, ay, ay ay, ay
    Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay ,ay ay, ay
    Then I call
    Ring (and a) ring (and a) ring (and a) ring

    Like lots of people making comments, I’m sort of stuck somehwere where I don’t want to be. Not so much stuck as spinning my wheels. I probably need to stay but certainly, during all of my reflection, I’ve realised that the job’s the job. It pays the bills and lets me do the other things I want to do. The big difference in where I was when I started is that in the past 18 months I’ve really widened my circle of friends and acquaintances. Now, I don’t bother over investing in the job. I do it well but any extra effort is invested into my support network and people who understand what I like and am interested in.

    La la love plus one…

    1. Hi Fiona – I completely hear you. I am not good at just doing a job for job’s sake. I live, eat, breathe my work andno matter what I do, I become so invested in it that it is an extension of my own self. This can be very frustrating. My goal is to make it very rewarding. Wish me luck!

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