Bugs in my Apple

Details matter, it’s worth waiting to get it right.

So said Steve Jobs, co-founder, chairman, and CEO of Apple.


Now, I’m just a simple girl.

The way I expect software to work, is to, well… work.

Plug it in, turn it on, off we go.

And I totally get that in today’s world, software updates happen so fast that there are full-time, high paying jobs employing people just to keep up on top of them.

But for simple folk, like me?  I see the word update – and I think: right. UPDATE. As in things get better. Work better. The same is before but better. Or faster. Or with extra features.

I mean, even the free online dictionary (updated!) informs:

1. to bring up to date; incorporate new information in.

2. an act or instance of updating.
3. new or current information used in updating.
4. an updated version, account, or the like.

Essentially, the updated version of something does exactly the same thing but with added goodies. Or superfluous goodies removed.

When I update my car, I get a faster one. Or a shinier one. (or like this year – I got a faster and shinier one.) When I updated my fridge it came with an ice maker, superfluous ice trays discarded. When I updated my TV I got 113 channels of shit on the TV to choose from.

Apparently Apple see things differently.

Apple gave me a phone update that turned all my contacts to numbers, made my iMessages disappear to never-land and ate my photographs. My not superfluous photographs. Apple gave me an iPad update that enable it to  send and receive text messages instead of them being delivered to my phone, gave me a screen font that requires 4x zoom to read and kindly took away my stored WiFi settings.

And lets not talk about the calendar, which defaulted to the fluorescent colours of a Barbie DreamHouse and is way too hard to read, let alone use.

Then, Apple decides my iMac needs OS X 10.9 ‘Mavericks’ which took 5 hours to UPDATE and 3 hours to install, and now nothing works, except I have THREE calendars in Barbie DreamHouse purple, pink and eye-aching  electric blue.

There’s no java in my Java,  no flash in my Flash, and my scroll function has a dead ‘C’. And, I have new font. It’s possibly called iNvisible, because as I type words onto my screen, the cursor moves but the letters vanish.

Do you know what the free online dictionary (updated!) has to say about the word Maverick?

2. One that refuses to abide by the dictates of or resists adherence to a group; a dissenter.
After 4 hours of stuffing around, I had to call a very nice man in America who finally explained why the voice recording in PowerPoint won’t work when being uploaded to a University server.


Stuff me.

I spent my ENTIRE Friday trying to  upload one assignment and synchronise the family calendars.

It would have been quicker to walk to the Post Office, buy a stamp, mail my assignment. Head home and write appointments on the wall calendar. With a pen.


Apparently all will be well when ‘the bugs are fixed’.

I know what bugs I’d like to fix.

They’re all on the inside of my Apple.