When Shaun Micallef Came to Visit

Like most people,  someone dropping in unexpectedly sends me into a mild spin. How clean is the house? Is my hair brushed? Are the toilets clean? (I live with boys, you get the idea).

The idea of a celebrity dropping in unannounced sends me into a major spin. I would need a week to get the house in order, lose 5 kilos, have my hair done and try  for a make-over. Especially if it was a celebrity that I have a mild crush on.

But when  Shaun Micallef came to my house, I was naked.

In the bathroom.

Wrapped in a towel.

The bathroom down the boys end of the house, not the ensuite off my bedroom.

Teen son led said celebrity straight to his bedroom and proceeded to show him scouting badges, model cars, aircraft oddities and train sets. Surprisingly, Shaun Micallef proved to be an ex-boy scout, enthralled with scout badges, blankets and plane paraphernalia.  Who knew? Jarrod, Toby and Steve were stoked. Not only were there 4 geeks in the house, there was a geek idol. A celebrity geek idol.

And a naked mother in the bathroom.

Toby took great delight in sticking his head through the door and announcing that “Shaun Micallef is here, didjaknow?”

Horrified that Toby was now also in the bathroom, giving away my secret lair, I snapped at him to shut the door and go away.  I sat on the loo, and listened as Shaun Micallef was given the grand tour of the house – including all things messy – by 4 teen geeks. I hoisted the towel and peered at my drying tangled hair while Shaun Micallef sat at the kitchen bench and conversed with 4 teens about planes, trains and other things geeky.

Bravely, I snuck through the hallway to the kitchen nook. I was about to throw caution to the wind and do a bolt for my bedroom behind Shaun Micallef’s back when an alarm went off. Shaun Micallef and 4 teen geeks all looked towards the alarm system just as I emerged. The alarm was jangling , my towel was slipping and 5 sets of male eyes were upon me. Eyes closed and mortified, I steeled myself to be brave. Open my eyes. One, two, three

My son turned off the bedside alarm and put down a nice fresh cup of Earl Grey tea beside my bed.

You right there mum? You were making weird faces in your sleep. Sounded like someone was trying to strangle you! What are you making me for lunch? Can Toby and Jarrod and Steve come over this weekend on the public holiday? Oh, and mum, I have to wear Chinese costume for cultural day….

This weekend, my house will be spotless, and I will be NOT using the boys bathroom at all.

When Shaun Micallef comes to visit, I want to make sure I am not in the bathroom.

It could be very unpleasant.

Published on ivillage news May 17 2013